DEC 11
(it’s WED now but back to yesterday) The performance was so exhilerating… I can’t wait to do it again…They want us to go to other schools with it. WHOOT WHOOT! I love being good at what I love to do. I love writing w/ a purple pen. And guess what I’m wearing a purple shirt today. my hair is so cute. My knee is killing me. There aer a couple of scenes where I have to fall down on my knees and my left knee is all swollen and bruised. I want a boyfriend. I want a job. Chris is coming down for my play Katie is going to come see it too!!
Last night I told Derek that I had…W/ Brendan and he said that his friend John’s b/f is named Brendad and goes to SU…So he asked John where Brendad is from, hair color, and where he lives…AND SURE ENOUGH IT’S THE SAME GUY!! What the hell?!! Brendan’s a fucking slut. he even told me that he was single when I talked to him online. GOD DAMNIT! I hate this! I feel so bad for John. I, GOD!! 
It was great sex like always but what the hell, I don’t mind being used but abused…being the cheater I just don’t get it! I don’t even know how to comprehend.
Chris… I want to be with him so badly but it’ll just complicate things and he’ll want a relationship and aaaah pds. going to end…
Chase I don’t like him. he’s hot but WTF.
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