this ones for the misfits, the freaks, the enemies.

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. Lindsay, Eng term paper, psych test computer, matt, no disk, computer matt, can’t sleep, cry.

Dustin and I have gotten together 2 more times. he came to my play. gave me a kiss before I went on state.
It was amazing. Our performance was spectacular. Well mine was. There were a couple other people that were good. As a whole it was great. So many people were there just to see me. I felt so loved. Megan bought me a white rose and a golden star balloon and an adorable monkey!! Chelsea bought me a yellow rose and her sister Dana bought me a pink rose. OMG it was great. I love my family I love my friends. ———- I’m in 4th period right now, Choir, Mrs Oldham hasn’t been here for this the second day. We’re supposed to be watching this stupid video w/ black tenor guys. It’s horrible.

I’m so frustrated. Chase Wulff annoys the crap out of me. He keeps running his mouth about Drama stuff when he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he thinks he’s all big & bad because he got the lead in Little Women. The only reason he got it is because of the way he looks. He’s a terrible actor. I can’t stand him anymore but I’m not going to be an ass to him. That’s not my style.
Guys are so confusing. I hate it. I hate being young and not knowing what to do. I mean I know what I want but I never get it.
(I wanna hit her in the face- Tierra Hudson)

Dustin is so annoying. I mean he’s a great guy but I was stupid for falling when I know I should ‘t have. But now there’s David. David Schaefer from Wilmington. he’s only a 1/2 hour from University of Arts which is where I’m hopefully going to go. And he’s so friggin hot. like unbelievably hot and he’s so sweet and so nice to me. I wish I was talking to him now. he’s so uh, just great. we can talk and talk and we understand each other. it feels good. I’M TIRED, this day is going by so slowly and I have to stay till 4:30 ugh. I’m gonna try to sleep a little.
“It’s flaming red, just like him.”

Why dose anyone do something just to make people think they’re cool? Why do they need to do stupid things just to make others like them? I mean sometimes I feel inadequate too but I don’t do anything just to make someone think I’m cool. What the fuck? I don’t get it. Matt- at the beginning of the period, he took out this piece of paper and said “DRUGS” and put it in his desk. I thought it was jsut pot and i thought he was a dumb@$$ then, However he showed the paper to me and it looked like little pieces of unlined paper ripped up and then he said “CO KAY I-EEN” OMG! HOLY SHIT!!! I have so many friends getting into hard drugs. (STUART- he’s dating this guy derek right now and last time I talked to him, he told me that he had been getting into E and cocaine. GOD!! )
and I was jsut in the front of the class and came to the back and Chris was taking one of the sheets of crack shit and put it in his mouth. GOD!! (crap I forgot Stef’s $) I know that he did it just to make matt think he’s cool. He’s not at all, I’ve lost all respect for him. All of it.

Today is Stefanies birthday! She’s 18 finally!! We’re going to go to Renegade in Rehoboth soon! I’m going to look so friggin cute. I can’t wait. In 6th period, we just took a test/quiz- “QUEST” I love this class but I’ve been doing so poorly, I really need to get my act together. GRRRR I’M SO TIRED!!!
We performed today. Bang Bang You’re Dead….
oh my god was it good!! We were awesome. So right on.
Crater just flipped out – 7th period.

I’m in Psychology right now, about 1:50, class is almost over we were talking about drugs and the effects on the brain and all that crap. Mowen mention ecstacy….immediately STUART!!
I’ve never even me the guy but he’s like my brother. I don’t wanna be here. I don’t wanna think about him being with Derrick and smoking and drinking and doing crack and E. I’m gonna cry. I feel it coming. Good thing this class is almost over. He’s throwing it all away. he’s ruining everything he has, his parents probably know too…I can’t stand it. he asked me not to hate him or have my love for him change, but it is changing, yeah I still love the guy but GODDDD! GRRRRRRRR!! everything is coherent…bell just rang. bb when I get home.